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Comedy in the Form of Jokes
Title: The Man Who Wanted AIDS Rating: Adult A man goes to a brothel looking for love (or at least whatever $49.50 could pay for). He goes in and approaches the front counter. When he arrives he is asked if he has any preferences. He says he does have a preference but that it probably isn't possible. The lady behind the counter says we hadn't had a request we couldn't fill yet (thinking the man wants a certain type of woman). He says "I'd like to spend some time with a woman who has AIDS." The lady gasps and states "We don't allow any womans with diseases to work here. All the womans are checked regularly. You aren't a cop are you?" He says "I'm not a cop but I would still like to be with a woman that has AIDS." The lady thinks about it and excuses herself for a moment. She goes back to where the womans are resting and explains the situation to the womans. They all look troubled but then one steps forward. "I'll pretend I have AIDS so we can get this customer." After confirming her willingness the lady goes back to the desk and tells the man that she has found a woman who has AIDS but it will cost extra and that he can't tell anyone that he was allowed to be with the woman. He agreed and so the lady escorted him to a private room and was left alone. He relaxed and had a drink and prepared himself. After a moment a woman entered the room. She told him that she had AIDS but she didn't want anyone to know. He agreed not to tell anyone and asked if they could get started. After about an hour the man and the woman finished up and put their clothes back on. The woman began to cry looked away from the man. The man asked her what was wrong. She told him that she had lied so that the brothel wouldn't lose a customer and that she really didn't have AIDS. He comforted her for a moment and then walked to the door. He then opened the door and before he left he said "you do now".
Click here for a great place to find jokes and other funny stuff Jokes Jokes Jokes
Here is a sample from the site: joke an angry truck driver and a blonde A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. While driving home from the dealer in her new car she cuts off a semi, almost driving it over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle in the dust and tells her that she can't move or he will kill her. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up the blondes leather seats. He turns around and sees that she's smiling. So he goes to his truck, gets out his baseball bat, and starts smashing her windows and denting the car. He looks over and sees that shes laughing. Hes really mad now, so he takes the knife and slashes the tires. He looks back again to see that the blonde is laughing so hard that shes about to fall over. He demands, "What is so freaking funny?!?!" She then takes a deep breath and says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"
The Hypnotist Who Should Work for Depends A hypnotist arranged to do a show at a local senior citizens' home. He arrives and sets up the stage area as the audience slowly arrives....well it is a senior citizens' home. After all the audience is settled the hypnotist says "in about 15 minutes I will have all of you hypnotized. He then pulls out a pocket watch and starts to gently swing it like a pendulum. He tells the audience to concentrate on the watch. The audience slowly seems to be coming under his trance. After some time the whole audience is under his trance as he continues to swing the watch. He swings the watch with more vigour and suddenly rips away from the chain it was on. The watch hits the floor and smashing into many pieces. The hypnotist yells out "shit". They all do. The mess takes hours to clean.
Funny meanings for wordsJokes Jokes Jokes Jokes
Here are some words and their not so correct meanings. You may have seen some of these before but forget that. Just enjoy the comedy.
Log on...............Make the wood stove hotter Log off..............Don't add no more wood Monitor..............Keep an eye that wood stove Download.............Getting the firewood off the truck Floppy disk..........What you get from trying to carry too much firewood Ram..................The thing that splits the firewood Hard Drive...........Getting home in the winter Prompt...............What the mail ain't in the winter Window...............What to shut when it's cold outside Screen...............What to shut in black fly season Byte.................What the black flies do Bit..................What the black flies did Meg Byte.............What the BIG black flies do Chip.................Muchies for TV Micro Chip...........What's left in the bag after you eat the chips Modem................What you did to the hay fields Dot Matrix...........Old Dan Matrix's wife Lap Top..............Where the kitty sleeps Software.............The dumb plastic knives and forks they give you at McDonalds Hardware.............The real stainless steel cutlery Mouse................What east the grain in the barn Main frame...........What holds the barn up Enter................City talk for - "come on in, eh" Web..................What a spider makes Web site.............The barn or the attic Cursor...............Someone who swears Search Engine........What you do when the car dies Screen Saver.........A repair kit for the torn window screen Home Page............A map you keep in your back pocket in case you get lost in the field Jokes
Upgrade..............Steep hill Server...............The person at the ABC what brings the food Mail Server..........The guy at the ABC what brings the food MSDOS................Some new disease they discovered Sound Card...........One of them technological birthday cards that plays music when you open it User.................The neighbour who keeps borrowing stuff Browser..............What they call you when your eye brows grow together Network..............When you have to repair your fishing net Internet.............Complicated fish net repair method Netscape.............When a fish manoeuvres out of reach Online...............When you get the laundry hung out on the washline Off line.............When the clothes pins let go and the laundry falls on the ground Benign...............What you be after you be eight Artery...............The study of paintings Bacteria.............Back door to the cafeteria Barium...............What doctors do when patients die Cesarean Section.....A neighborhood in Rome Catscan..............Searching for Kitty Cauterize............Made eye contact with her Colic................A sheep dog Coma.................A punctuation mark D & C................Where Washington is Dilate...............To live long
Jokes
Enema................To live long Fester...............Quicker than someone else Fibula...............A small lie Genital..............Non-jewish person G.I. Series..........World Series of military baseball Hangnail.............What you hang your coat on Impotent.............Distinguished, well-known Labor Pain...........Getting hurt at work Rectum...............Damn near killed him Nitrates.............Cheaper than day rates Node.................I knew it Outpatient...........A person who has fainted Pap smear............A fatherhood test Post Operative.......A letter carrier Terminal Illness.....Getting sick at the airport Tumor................More than one Urine................Opposite of you're out Seizure..............Roman emperor Varicose.............Near by/close by
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